Consequences

I wonder if you have any idea the consequence to your actions?

Considering you’re probably stalking me here, too, I’ll blog this response, since I can’t email it to you. Because you don’t have the decency to use a real email address.

I mean. Most of us probably don’t have an idea how far reaching the consequences are to our actions, to be honest. We just go through our days doing what we feel we must or what we want to or can do.

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But you, my little harasser, have made a rather deep impression into my life.

I wonder what your motivations were?

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I know what your emails said, and because it IS actually illegal to share what they say in full, I won’t do that.

But was it really ‘out of concern for me’ that you felt you needed to send me anonymous emails from my own website?

Or was it you trying to stir trouble for someone else?

Or a number of someones?

What *exactly* were you trying to accomplish?

Was it to make me not trust (for a given value of trust, because this *is* the internet) anyone I talk to via private or direct message?

Cause if it was, you succeeded.

Was it to almost drive me away from one of my only forms of social interaction (twitter)?Because it almost did that too.

Heads up. I’m disabled. I don’t have a lot of in person friends who are close to me geographically. My social needs are largely filled by the internet.

Which you’ve almost succeeded in ruining for me.

What’s your game?

If, as you say, we ‘talk a lot on twitter’ then either you’re lying about us talking frequently (cause anyone I talk to on twitter ‘frequently’ is likely a mutual, and despite what the numbers say, I think I only follow and talk to, at most, 150 people, the rest of the accounts I follow are bots, news, or image retweet accounts). OR you’re a coward who doesn’t know me at all.

If the kind of information you say you’ve seen actually existed… well, if you knew me, (meaning you’d talked to me ‘a lot’) you’d know that I’d want to know. That I wouldn’t come after *you* for something someone else did.

(Or since, you know, there’s no real name attached to your emails AND no proof, well, you’re both a liar and a coward. Take your pick.)

I wish this thing didn’t bother me as much as it does. That I could just brush it under the rug and go on with my life. It’s only a few emails, I should be able to just ignore them.

I can’t though.

And never be in doubt, you broke the law with those emails. It’s called harassment, falling under the cyber bullying laws and it’s illegal in all US states.

Now. I’ve done all I can to protect myself. I’ve taken down all the contact forms from my website, because now if you want to get to me, you’ll have to send emails from a site that will register your IP address (and I WILL find you that way, I worked computer security for years and it’s completely legal). In case you actually want to reach me, my email address is kaelan.rhywiol@gmail.com

I’ve closed my DMs on twitter and am about to go on an unfollowing spree. So that I can feel safe to come back and talk to the people I’m mutuals with.

I never actually wanted to close my DMs, you know? I wanted to be able to keep them open so that people in situations like I had been with regards to mental health could get to someone who had been there.

But because of you, and because of an increased number of unpleasant messages I’ve had to close them.

I also don’t follow back people now, even if they seem interesting. It’ll take a lot more for me to extend the hand of friendship to others.

That’s as a direct consequence to your anonymous emails.

Because, if, as you claim, we talk a lot on twitter, then you’re a mutual. Someone I sorta almost trust a little bit.

And you still harassed me.

You didn’t come forward with a private message and screenshots of what you claim happened.

Worse than that, (based on something you said in one of your subsequent emails) you’re possibly a mutual that I talked to about this problem after the first email.

I HATE head games. I loathe people who play them.

Fuck you very much for this feeling.

If you, my ‘anonymous emailer’ read this? Come forward or get out of my life. I don’t play games like these.

They hurt people. Namely me.

 

 

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